I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
