the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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