you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
