Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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