hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
