singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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