What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
