OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
did you just send me my own nude
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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