It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
