Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
