hotel room ftw
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
