chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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