By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
love makes seman taste better
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
