the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Your dad touched me again.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
