she looked like the before picture.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Acid is not a monday night drug
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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