just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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