Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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