I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
