i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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