I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
