So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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