do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
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