I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
