you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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