i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
