I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
