Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
