if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
