I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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