I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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