the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
