I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
