Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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