in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
