Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
