Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
NoShamevember. You game?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
