Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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