Soap is not a condiment
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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