trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
