I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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