I just cut my nipple shaving
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
