I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
