I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
