Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
