Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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