plz talk dirty to me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
