so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
