I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Im part way to drunk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
