Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
