Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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