Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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