She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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